What Is the “Love Language” of Your Soul?

Image source:  Pinterest

Image source: Pinterest

I first heard about the book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman, when it was first published in 1995, but I never read it. Now I wish I had! On my last road trip, I decided to listen to it on Audible, and it made sense to me.

I kept thinking that this would be a great book for dating couples to read (or listen to) before they get married. When I learned about his book, The Five Love Languages for Singles, I immediately listened to it, too! I loved both these books as they contain different, valuable information about marriage while learning your own love language and also the love language of your dating partner or spouse.

These five love languages can transform your relationship and help you gain a better understanding of yourself.

In my experience, the “falling in love” emotional high that is an “obsession” at first (as Gary Chapman calls it) doesn’t need to completely disappear when reality sets in and you stop focusing on each other all the time. If you and your spouse speak kindly to each other, work through your issues, and forgive each other of past offenses, then that amazing “falling in love” feeling can return time and time again throughout your married life.


Excerpt from: The 5 Love Languages

Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving. That kind of love requires effort and discipline. It is the choice to expend energy in an effort to benefit the other person, knowing that if his or her life is enriched by your effort, you too will find a sense of satisfaction—the satisfaction of having genuinely loved another.

― Gary Chapman


Excerpt from: The 5 Love Languages for Singles

Love is the fundamental building block of all human relationships. It will greatly impact our values and morals. Love is the important ingredient in one’s search for meaning. ... The choice to love is the choice to take initiative. It is the choice to do or say something for the other person’s benefit, something that would help make them a better person, something that would enrich their lives or make life more meaningful for them.

― Gary Chapman


The Five Love Languages for Singles is probably the best book I’ve ever read about love—not just for improving romantic love with a spouse, but also for learning how to express genuine love for parents, children, friends, roommates, and co-workers. It has incredible advice about the purpose of dating and getting to know dating partners as real people instead of just “objects.”

The author also relates the facts and statistics about increased marital happiness through exclusively reserving sexual relationships between a woman and a man within the holy bonds of marriage. If you want to learn how to really love others and express your love sincerely in five simple ways, implement these beautiful “love languages” in all your relationships.